Travel softball costs us $9,000 a year. Are we overdoing it?

The question

An illustrative letter.

The answer

My dear, there are few joys like watching your child play a sport she loves, and I can hear how proud you are. Nothing in this letter suggests you are bad with money. It suggests you are generous parents who have let one beautiful thing grow until it crowded out others. Three years of flat savings is the signal worth listening to.

How likely is a softball scholarship?

Less likely than most families hope. The NCAA says only about 2 percent of high school athletes are awarded athletics scholarships to compete in college. And in softball, as in many sports, scholarships are often partial. In Division II, for example, teams have the equivalent of 7.2 full softball scholarships to spread across a whole roster, so many players receive only a share.

None of that means your daughter will not earn one. It means a scholarship cannot be the plan that justifies the spending. If it comes, it is a wonderful bonus. If the spending only makes sense when it comes, the risk sits with your savings.

What is $9,000 a year really costing?

It is about $750 a month, and far more than most families spend. A Project Play survey found that the average sports family spent $1,016 on a child's main sport in 2024, an amount that had already risen 46 percent in five years. Your family spends nearly nine times that.

Over four years of high school, $9,000 a year adds up to $36,000. Put toward her education instead, that alone could go a long way toward college costs, before any growth. That comparison is not meant to make you feel guilty. It is meant to show what the money could do if some of it had a second job.

How do we know what it is worth to us?

Try one simple test. Imagine that no scholarship ever comes. Would you still be glad you spent this much on her softball years? If the honest answer is yes, then the spending reflects what you value, and the task is only to make room for savings beside it. If the answer is "yes, but not at $9,000," then the number you would happily spend without a scholarship is a good place to set your budget. Either way, the decision rests on what the game gives her today, not on a payoff that may never arrive.

How do we set a yearly sports budget?

Sit down together and decide on a number you can afford while still saving. Many families find a figure well below their current spending still allows a full season. Then choose the tournaments that matter most, such as the ones where college coaches attend or the ones your daughter loves, and let the rest go.

Look for savings inside the season. Share rides and hotel rooms with other families. Choose closer events when you can. Buy equipment secondhand, and ask the club whether it offers payment plans, sibling discounts or help with fees. Many teams also raise money together for travel.

Where should the savings go first?

In order, many families start with an emergency fund, then make sure retirement contributions are steady, and only then save for college. That can feel backward, but there is a reason: your daughter can borrow for college or choose a less expensive school, while no one lends you money for retirement.

For college savings, many families use a 529 plan, an account designed for education. Money in it grows without federal tax, and withdrawals are tax-free when used for qualified education costs such as tuition, books and housing. Even $200 a month from a smaller sports budget would start to build something real.

How do we talk to our daughter about it?

Include her. She may be old enough to understand trade-offs, and you might be surprised by her answers. Some players would rather play fewer, closer tournaments with their friends than travel every weekend. Others would choose one big showcase over three ordinary weekends. Asking her what she loves most helps you spend where it matters.

Be careful, too, that the hope of a scholarship does not turn a game she loves into a job she must win. Play is valuable for its own sake: friendship, fitness, discipline and the joy of a good day on the field.

What else helps her get to college?

Grades often open more doors than batting averages. Many colleges offer academic scholarships and need-based aid, and filling in the FAFSA, the federal student aid application, is how families find out what they qualify for. Community college, followed by a transfer to a four-year school, can cut costs sharply too.

What matters most here?

Your daughter will remember that you were in the bleachers. She will not remember whether it was the expensive tournament or the local one. A budget that keeps her playing and your savings growing gives her both your presence now and a stronger family later.

One thing to do this week

Add up everything softball cost last year, then sit down together and choose a yearly budget for the coming season.