We built a house back home. Our children will never live there. What happens to it?

The question

An illustrative letter.

The answer

My dear, twenty years of building is twenty years of love, sacrifice and hope, sent home one transfer at a time. It is hard to hear your children say they will never live there. But their answer is not a rejection of the house or of you. It is simply the truth of lives built here, and it gives you the chance to decide the house's future yourself, rather than leaving it to chance, to relatives or to a court. I have built a life on two continents too, and I know how much peace a clear plan can bring.

Why might a will made here not be enough?

Because land is governed by the law of the country where it lies. A house in Enugu is governed by Nigerian law, wherever its owners live. A will made in Texas may be recognized in Nigeria if it was properly made, but the estate still has to go through the courts there. A probate grant from a U.S. court cannot simply be resealed in Nigeria the way grants from some Commonwealth countries can, so your family would usually need to start a fresh probate process in Nigeria, with all the time, cost and room for dispute that brings.

That is why many families with property back home make two wills: one in Nigeria, drawn up by a Nigerian lawyer, covering only the property there, and one here covering everything else. Each should be written so it does not cancel the other, which is a common and costly mistake when wills are made separately. Your lawyers on both sides can coordinate the wording.

Is the title secure?

Before anything else, find your title documents. Under Nigeria's Land Use Act, land in each state is held under the authority of the Governor, and owners hold a right of occupancy, usually shown by a Certificate of Occupancy. Selling, mortgaging or transferring that right generally requires the Governor's consent. Confirm that the house is registered in your names, that the papers are complete and that you hold the originals, ideally here, with certified copies in a safe place there. A lawyer in Enugu can run a search at the land registry to be sure nothing has changed.

What about your brother living in the house?

He may be a blessing: a house that is lived in is a house that is cared for. But an informal arrangement can become a problem later, especially after you are gone, if anyone claims the house was given to him or that he has a right to stay. Put his stay in writing now: that he lives there as a caretaker or by your permission, not as an owner, what he is responsible for, and what happens when you die. A short agreement protects him, your children and your relationship with him.

If you do want him to have the house, or a share of it, say so plainly in your Nigerian will, so there is no doubt.

What are your choices for the house?

Talk with your children before you decide. You have several paths, and each suits a different family.

• Keep it and leave it to the children. They inherit it and decide together later, which works best if they agree and have someone they trust on the ground.
• Rent it out. The house earns income, but it needs a reliable manager and careful records from thousands of miles away.
• Sell it during your lifetime. You choose the buyer, the price and the timing, and spare your children a sale from abroad. Selling may bring taxes in Nigeria and must be reported here too, so speak with a CPA who understands foreign property.
• Give it to someone now. A gift during your lifetime, perhaps to a child or to your brother, needs proper transfer papers and the Governor's consent.

There is no wrong answer. The only poor choice is leaving it undecided.

Can my daughters inherit the house?

Yes. In 2014, Nigeria's Supreme Court ruled in Ukeje v. Ukeje that the Igbo custom excluding daughters from inheriting their father's property is unconstitutional. Still, families sometimes argue over such houses, which is one more reason to name your heirs clearly in a valid Nigerian will.

What about taxes here?

Texas has no state estate or inheritance tax. For federal estate tax, a home abroad counts as part of your estate if you are a U.S. citizen or resident, but the 2026 exemption is $15 million, so most families owe nothing. A CPA or attorney can tell you how the rules apply to you.

How do I start the conversation with my children?

Over a family meal, perhaps at Christmas when everyone gathers. Show them a photo of the house and tell them its story: why you built it, what it means to you. Then ask what they would want, and listen. You may find that one child wants to keep it, or that they would all rather you enjoy the proceeds of a sale. Whatever they say, they will remember being asked.

The house was built with love. With a little planning in both countries, it can pass on with love too.

One thing to do this week

Find your Certificate of Occupancy and title papers, and ask a lawyer in Enugu to confirm the house is registered in your names.