Mom's nursing home costs $9,600 a month. Will Medicaid take her house?

The question

An illustrative letter.

The answer

My dear, watching a parent move into a nursing home is grief enough. Doing it while the bills mount and a brother warns about losing the family home is a great deal to carry. Let us put some facts on the table, because the truth is more hopeful, and more complicated, than the warning you heard.

Why did Medicare stop paying?

Medicare covers skilled nursing care for a limited time after a qualifying hospital stay, up to 100 days, with a daily charge after day 20. In 2026, that charge is $217 a day. It does not cover long-term care for someone who needs help with daily living. That is why the rehab was covered and the nursing home is not. The national median for a shared nursing home room was about $9,580 a month in 2025, so your mother's bill is sadly typical.

Will Medicaid really take her house?

Not in the way most people fear. Medicaid does not seize a home while the owner is alive. To qualify, your mother must have very little in savings, but a home can often be treated as exempt, for example if she intends to return to it or if certain relatives live there. In New York, the home equity limit for nursing home Medicaid in 2026 is $1,130,000, so for most families the house itself does not stand in the way of eligibility.

Once on Medicaid, she would contribute most of her own monthly income toward her care, keeping a small allowance, and Medicaid would pay the rest.

What happens to the house after she dies?

This is where your brother has a point. Federal law requires states to seek repayment of nursing home costs from the estates of people who received that care at 55 or older. In New York, the state can make a claim against her estate after her death. But it cannot do so while she has a surviving spouse, a child under 21, or a child of any age who is blind or disabled. States must also have a process to waive recovery when it would cause undue hardship.

Can we just put the house in our names now?

Please do not, at least not yet. Medicaid looks back five years at any gifts or transfers made before someone applies for nursing home coverage. Giving away the house, or selling it to family for less than it is worth, can create a penalty period during which Medicaid will not pay for her care at all. Families who act on fear sometimes end up with the house and a nursing home bill they cannot pay.

There are exceptions written into federal law. A home can be transferred without penalty to a son or daughter who lived there for at least two years before the parent entered the nursing home and whose care kept the parent at home during that time. Transfers to a spouse, or to a child who is under 21, blind or disabled, are also allowed. Whether any of these fit your family is exactly the question for an attorney.

What can we do now that is safe?

• Pay for her care from her savings, as you are doing. Spending her money on her own care is never a problem.
• Gather five years of records: bank statements, investment accounts and the deed. A Medicaid application will ask for them.
• Make sure the paperwork is in order. If she can still sign, a power of attorney and health care proxy let someone act for her. If she cannot, a lawyer can explain the options.
• Ask the nursing home's social worker when to apply. Many families begin the application a few months before her savings run out.

Who should we talk to?

An elder law attorney who practices in New York. Medicaid planning depends on state rules, the family's situation and timing, and a good attorney can tell you what is protected, what is not, and what your choices are. Your county's Department of Social Services handles the application itself. A single consultation now can save years of regret.

How do I talk to my brother about it?

Gently, and with the facts. He is likely frightened too, and fear often comes out as certainty. You might say: "I looked into it. Medicaid does not take the house while Mom is alive, and there are rules about what happens after. Giving it away now could cost her the care she needs. Let us see a lawyer together." Going together means you both hear the same answers.

Your mother spent a lifetime building that home and caring for you both. Now it is your turn to care for her well, with clear heads and good counsel. The house matters. She matters more, and with careful planning, you may not have to choose.

One thing to do this week

Gather five years of your mother's bank statements and the deed, and book a consultation with a New York elder law attorney.