Dear Junah · Scenario

My cousin wants her wedding flowers at cost. Am I greedy for saying no?

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Dear Junah,

I'm a florist. My cousin wants her wedding flowers at cost, about $2,400 of work for $600. When I said no, my aunt called me greedy at Sunday dinner. Am I wrong?

Feeling thorny in Pasadena

My dear, love is not a discount code. Set one family rule for everyone, maybe a fixed discount or a gift of one arrangement. Your time is your living.

Warm wishes, Junah

The short answer

You are not greedy. At cost usually means the price of flowers alone, leaving out your time, skill, overhead and a wedding date you could have sold. Set one clear family policy, such as a fixed discount or one arrangement as your gift, and offer designs that fit her budget. Say it kindly, once, and keep to it.

By Junah Mpofu

More than 33 years in banking, including mortgage and credit lending, and a real estate portfolio of her own

Last reviewed October 17, 2026

The question

Dear Junah,

I'm a florist. My cousin wants her wedding flowers at cost, about $2,400 of work for $600. When I said no, my aunt called me greedy at Sunday dinner. Am I wrong?

Feeling thorny in Pasadena

An illustrative letter.

The answer

My dear, I am sorry Sunday dinner turned into a courtroom. Families often see a relative's business as a kind of shared treasure, and they forget that it is also your paycheck, your rent and your future. Saying no to working for almost nothing is not greed. It is how a business survives.

What does at cost really mean?

When someone asks for flowers at cost, they usually mean the price of the stems. But a $2,400 wedding is much more than stems. It includes the hours you spend designing, conditioning flowers, building arrangements and setting up on the day. It includes your cooler, your shop rent, your van, your tools and your insurance. And it includes something easy to forget: a wedding date. Most florists can only take a limited number of weddings each weekend. A Saturday given to your cousin for $600 is a Saturday you cannot sell to someone else.

So the $1,800 gap is not profit you are refusing to share. Much of it is your work and the cost of running a business at all.

Is it ever right to give family a discount?

Of course, if you want to and can afford to. Many business owners enjoy doing something special for the people they love. The trouble comes from deciding case by case, under pressure, at the dinner table. That way every relative gets a different answer, and someone always feels hurt.

How do I set a family policy?

Decide once, calmly, and apply it to everyone. A few common approaches:

A fixed family discount, perhaps 10 or 15 percent off your usual prices, for close relatives.
One piece as your gift, such as the bridal bouquet, given with love, with the rest at your normal price.
A design that fits their budget. For $600, you can create something beautiful with seasonal flowers, fewer arrangements or simpler pieces, rather than shrinking your price on the full design.

Once you have chosen, the policy does the hard talking for you. "This is what I do for all family" is far easier to say than an explanation every time.

What do I say to my aunt and my cousin?

Warmly and briefly. To your cousin, you might say: "I love you and I want your flowers to be beautiful. For family, I give the bouquet as my gift and take 15 percent off everything else. I can also design something lovely within $600 if that is your budget." To your aunt, if she raises it again: "I understand why you feel that way. This is my living, and this is the same offer I make to all family." Then change the subject. You do not need to defend your prices at every meal.

Can I count the discount as a gift on my taxes?

No. The IRS does not allow a deduction for the value of your time or services, even when given freely. Your materials and business costs are still business expenses, but the work you donate is simply generosity. That is fine, as long as you choose it on purpose.

How do I protect myself if I agree to something?

Treat family like any client on paper. Write down what you will provide, the price, the deposit and the date, and have both of you sign. Clear terms prevent misunderstandings, which are often what turn a family favor into a lasting grudge. Take a deposit, as you would from anyone, to secure the date.

What if my cousin truly cannot afford more?

Then offer something that fits, rather than a smaller price for the same work. A $600 budget can still buy beautiful flowers: a bridal bouquet, a few boutonnieres and simple table pieces in seasonal blooms. Some florists also offer a do-it-yourself option, ordering flowers at wholesale prices for the family and showing them how to arrange them, for a modest fee for their time and expertise. That way your cousin gets a lovely wedding and you are paid fairly for what you actually do.

Will this hurt the relationship?

It may sting for a while. But hidden resentment does more damage than a kind, clear no. If you said yes and worked dozens of hours for almost nothing, you might carry that quietly into every family gathering for years. A fair, consistent answer protects the relationship over the long run, even if Sunday dinner is a little cool for a week.

What if family keeps asking?

They may, especially if you have helped before. Your policy is your answer each time. Over months, people learn that your kindness has a shape, and most will come to respect it. The ones who do not are rarely satisfied by any discount.

You built a business from your talent, my dear. Love your family, give gifts when you choose, and charge fairly for your work. Those can all be true at the same table.

A fair family policy

Count the real cost of a wedding
Stems, hours, cooler, rent, van, insurance and the lost date.
Choose one family policy
A fixed discount, one piece as a gift, or both.
Offer designs that fit their budget
Seasonal flowers or fewer arrangements, not a smaller price on the full design.
Say it kindly, once
This is what I do for all family.
Put the order in writing
What, price, deposit and date, signed by both.
Take a deposit
It secures the date, as with any client.

Questions people ask

Should family get a discount on my services?

That is your choice. Many business owners set one clear family policy, such as a fixed percentage discount or one item as a gift, and apply it to every relative. Deciding in advance avoids pressure at family gatherings and keeps your business sustainable, since your prices cover your time, overhead and limited dates, not just materials.

What does selling at cost mean for a small business?

At cost usually means charging only for materials. For a service business, that leaves out labor, skill, rent, equipment, insurance and the opportunity cost of a booking slot that could have gone to a paying client. For a florist, a wedding date is limited, so a heavily discounted wedding can mean turning away a full-price one.

Can I deduct the value of free services I give family?

No. The IRS does not allow a deduction for the value of your time or services, even when donated. Out-of-pocket business costs such as materials may still be business expenses, but the labor itself is not deductible. Giving services to family is generosity, not a tax write-off.

How do I tell a relative no to a discount?

Be warm, brief and consistent. Thank them, explain the family policy you apply to everyone, and offer an alternative, such as a design within their budget or one piece as your gift. Avoid lengthy justifications. Repeating the same policy calmly each time helps relatives understand and respect it.