I'm 68 and raising my grandsons on Social Security. Is there any help?

The question

An illustrative letter.

The answer

My dear, you have taken on one of the hardest and most loving jobs there is, at an age when you had every right to rest. Your grandsons are fortunate to have you. And you are far from alone: about 2.1 million grandparents in this country are responsible for most of the care of grandchildren who live with them. Many programs exist precisely because so many families are where yours is.

Where do I start?

Call the Alabama Kinship Navigator at 844-4ALA-KIN, or visit navigator.alabama.gov. It was set up for grandparents and other relatives raising children, whether or not the children came through foster care. A navigator can help you with applications, refer you to local services and connect you with other grandparents in your position. Think of it as one phone call that opens many doors.

What help is there for food and health care?

• SNAP. Food assistance is based on your household, which now includes two growing boys. With $1,900 a month and three people at the table, it is well worth applying through the Department of Human Resources.
• Medicaid or ALL Kids for the boys. Alabama Medicaid covers children in lower-income households, and ALL Kids, the state's children's health insurance program, covers children whose family income is above the Medicaid level but within its limits. You can apply for both together.
• School meals. Children in households receiving SNAP usually qualify for free school meals automatically. Ask the school to confirm.

Is there cash help for the boys?

Alabama's Family Assistance program provides temporary cash help for children in low-income families. When a relative is raising the children, it is often possible to apply for the children alone, sometimes called a child-only grant. Ask the Department of Human Resources how they would count your household, and do not assume you are over the limit before you have asked.

One thing to know before you apply: cash assistance for children usually comes with a request that the state pursue child support from their parents. For some families that is welcome. For others it stirs up old conflict, or worse. If seeking support from either parent could put you or the boys at risk, tell the caseworker. Programs allow exceptions when there is good cause, such as a risk of harm.

Can the boys receive Social Security?

Possibly, and this is worth a careful conversation with Social Security.

• On a parent's record. If the boys' mother or father has become disabled and receives disability benefits, or has died, the boys may qualify for benefits on that parent's work record. You can apply on their behalf and receive the money for them as their representative payee.
• On your record. Grandchildren can sometimes receive benefits on a grandparent's record, but the rules are strict. Generally, both parents must have died or be disabled, or you must have adopted the boys. There are also rules about when they came to live with you and how much of their support you provided. Bring their birth certificates and any custody papers when you ask.

What about tax credits?

Child tax credits mostly help families with earnings from work. The refundable part of the child tax credit depends on earned income, and Social Security benefits do not count as earned income. If you have no wages, these credits may not reach you. If you do have some paid work, even part-time, it is worth having a free tax site check what you could claim.

Do I need legal custody?

Without legal authority, simple things like enrolling the boys in school or consenting to medical care can become difficult. Alabama courts can grant custody or guardianship to a relative, and the Kinship Navigator can explain your options. Legal aid organizations often help grandparents with these cases at little or no cost.

Who looks after me?

You do, and so must others. The Family Caregiver Support Program, run through your local Area Agency on Aging, also serves grandparents raising grandchildren, with support groups, counseling and sometimes respite so you can rest. Ask your church and neighbors for specific help too: a ride to practice, a meal on Sundays, an afternoon off. People often want to help and simply do not know how.

How do I make $1,900 stretch?

Once the applications are in, sit down with a simple budget. List what is fixed, like housing and utilities, then food, school costs and clothing. Our Budget Planner can help you see where every dollar goes and where a little can be saved. Even a small cushion for emergencies, built slowly, will make the surprises of raising boys less frightening.

You stepped in when your grandsons needed someone, my dear. Now let others step in for you. Make the call to the Kinship Navigator this week, and let each application carry a little of the weight you have been holding alone.

One thing to do this week

Call the Alabama Kinship Navigator at 844-4ALA-KIN and ask for help applying for SNAP and health coverage for the boys.