We're 71. Tithe 10% or see Europe while we still can?

The question

An illustrative letter.

The answer

My dear, what a lovely problem to have. Two people at 71, still in love enough to argue about how to spend their good years. One heart wants to keep faith with the church that has carried you both, and one wants to stand in a square in Rome before the knees say no. Neither of you is wrong. Let us see whether you need to choose at all.

Can we really afford both?

Start with the figures you already know. Ten percent of $8,000 is $800 a month, or $9,600 a year. That leaves $7,200 a month for everything else. The question is not whether giving and travel can share a budget. It is whether, after your home, food, health costs and savings, there is room for a travel line too.

Sit down together with a year of bank statements and write out what truly goes out each month. Then price the trip honestly: flights, hotels, meals, trains, travel insurance and a cushion for surprises. Divide the total by the months until you would go. If the trip costs $12,000 for the two of you and you plan to go in a year, that is $1,000 a month to set aside. Our Budget Planner can show you whether that fits.

If it fits, you have your answer. If it does not, you have a clear number to work with, which is far better than a feeling.

How do we talk about what giving means now?

Before the numbers, ask each other why. For your wife, the tithe may be an act of faith she has kept all her life, a way of saying thank you that she does not want to stop now. For you, the trip may be about time: a sense that the door to certain journeys is closing. Both are about gratitude, really. Say that out loud to each other, and the conversation softens.

Many retirees revisit how they give, and people of faith answer it differently. Some keep giving 10 percent of what comes in each month. Some give of their time more than their money now. Your pastor can be a kind partner in that conversation, and many pastors would rather see a couple give gladly than give anxiously.

Is there a way to give that costs us less?

There may be, and it is one of the best-kept secrets in retirement. If either of you has a traditional IRA, then from age 70½ you can send money straight from the IRA to a qualified charity, which includes most churches. This is called a qualified charitable distribution. The money never counts as your taxable income. In 2026 each of you can give up to $111,000 this way.

Why does that matter? Most retirees take the standard deduction, so their church gifts bring little tax benefit. A gift sent from the IRA instead lowers your income itself, which can reduce your federal tax, and sometimes the share of your Social Security that is taxed. Once you reach the age for required withdrawals, 73 for most people your age, these gifts count toward them too. The savings can go straight into the travel fund. A tax preparer can tell you how much it would save the two of you, and the IRA custodian will need to send the money directly to the church.

What should we know before traveling abroad?

Original Medicare generally does not pay for care outside the United States. Some Medicare supplement plans include a foreign travel emergency benefit, which pays 80 percent after a $250 deductible, up to a $50,000 lifetime limit. Look at your own plan, and consider travel medical insurance for the trip. An illness abroad without cover can cost far more than any tithe.

Travel in spring or autumn if you can. The crowds are thinner, the prices often lower, and the walking easier on older feet. Carry a list of your medicines with their generic names, and enough of each for the whole trip plus a few extra days.

What if the numbers don't stretch?

Then look for the middle together. A few ways couples find it:

• A shorter or simpler trip this year, with the big one saved for next.
• Giving through the IRA, so the same gift costs your household less.
• A one-year pause or reduction, agreed with peace and discussed with your pastor, not taken in secret.
• Giving time as well as money, if your wife feels called to serve in other ways.

Whatever you choose, choose it together. A decision one of you resents will spoil both the giving and the trip.

My dear, you have been faithful with money for a long time. That faithfulness is exactly what makes both of these dreams possible. Go and see Europe, and keep blessing your church. With a little planning, you may find there is room in one life for both.

One thing to do this week

Sit down together with a year of statements, write out the monthly budget, and price the Europe trip you both would love.