I want to be buried back home in Zimbabwe. How do I plan it now?

The question

An illustrative letter.

The answer

My dear, this is one of the kindest letters I have received. Many people avoid thinking about their own death. You are thinking about it so that your children will not have to scramble, borrow or ask strangers for help while they grieve. That is love, planned in advance.

Why plan now, at 70?

Because the hardest days for a family are the first days after a death. Decisions come quickly, costs arrive all at once, and papers are needed from two countries. Families in the diaspora often turn to crowdfunding or church collections to bring a loved one home. And at 70, time matters in a practical way too: some funeral plans stop taking new members at your age, and a life policy costs more with every birthday.

What will the journey home cost?

Start with a real figure. Ask a funeral home experienced in international shipments for an itemized written quote. Under the FTC's Funeral Rule, funeral homes must give you itemized prices. Add the funeral and burial in Mutare, and flights for family. Your own estimate of about $10,000 for the whole journey is a sensible starting point. Then weigh three ways to pay for it, by what each one costs you over the years.

What does a funeral plan from back home cost me?

Some Zimbabwean funeral companies sell plans for Zimbabweans living abroad. You pay a monthly premium in U.S. dollars, and when the time comes the company does the work, not only the paying: international embalming, a sealed coffin fit for the flight, help with the documents, the journey home and the hearse in Zimbabwe. Some add air tickets for family, or an allowance for the gathering.

Read the terms closely. One well-known plan for Zimbabweans in America takes a new principal member only up to age 70, waits six months before cover begins except after a road accident, lapses after three months of missed premiums, and asks for premiums for life. Ask what is covered and from where, because some funeral policies only cover costs inside Zimbabwe.

What does a policy here in America cost me?

This is a small whole life policy, often sold as final expense or burial insurance. It pays a set sum to the person you name, who can use it for the journey home or for anything else. The premium usually stays the same for life. There are two kinds to compare:

• With health questions. If your health is good, the premium is usually lower, and the full sum is paid from the start.
• Without health questions. Easier to get, but it costs more, and if death from illness comes in the first two or three years, it usually returns the premiums paid with some interest rather than the full sum.

Here is a simple test of cost. Divide the sum insured by a year of premiums: that is how many years until you have paid in more than the policy pays out. At $80 a month for $10,000, it is about ten and a half years. Ask too how quickly claims are paid, and whether the funeral home will take the policy as payment.

What does a funeral fund of my own cost me?

Nothing in premiums. You set aside the money, about $10,000 or whatever your quote says, within the accounts you already have, and mark it for the journey home.

• Keep it safe and easy to reach. A savings account, a certificate of deposit or Treasury bills, rather than stocks, because it may be needed in any year.
• Name who receives it. A payable-on-death beneficiary on a bank account, or a transfer-on-death registration on an investment account, lets your named child claim it with a death certificate, usually without waiting for probate.
• It stays yours. It earns interest while you live, and whatever the journey does not need passes to your children.

The cost is discipline. The money must be there now, and it must be left alone.

Which is the most cost effective for me?

• If the money is already there and you won't need it to live on, your own fund usually costs least: no premiums, interest earned, and nothing lost to a long life.
• If it is not, a plan or a policy spreads the cost. The longer you live, the more you pay in, so use the test of cost above.
• If you want the work done, not only the bill paid, a plan from back home carries the whole journey. At your age, ask now, before the door closes.
• Many families combine them: a small fund for the first days, with a plan or a policy behind it.

How do I make sure my wishes are followed?

• A written statement of your wishes. Where you want to be buried, beside your mother in Mutare, what kind of service you would like, and who should be told. The Federal Trade Commission suggests putting your preferences in writing, giving copies to your family and your attorney, and keeping a copy somewhere easy to find. It warns against relying only on your will or a safe deposit box, which may not be opened until after the funeral.
• An appointment of an agent. Texas law lets you name the person who will control what happens to your remains, through a written appointment signed by you and acknowledged before a notary. Naming one of your children, and a backup, prevents confusion or disagreement later.
• An updated will. Name an executor, and say how your property should pass. An estate attorney can make sure it works in both countries if you own anything in Zimbabwe.

What happens on the Zimbabwe side?

Talk with your family in Mutare now. Confirm that there is a place beside your mother, who will receive you, and what local costs to expect. The Embassy of Zimbabwe in Washington can tell your children which documents are needed to bring remains into the country.

How do I tell my children?

Gather them, if you can, and speak plainly and lovingly. Tell them where you want to rest and why, show them your written wishes, and tell them which way of paying you chose, where the papers are, and who has been named to carry things out. Keep it all in one folder they know about. Most children, later, are deeply grateful to have been spared guesswork in their grief.

What a gift you are giving, my dear: a clear path home, and children free to mourn rather than to scramble. May that day be many years away, and may you enjoy every one of them in between.

One thing to do this week

Ask for three figures: a diaspora funeral plan's premium, a final expense policy's premium, and a funeral home's itemized quote.