The tip screen asks for 30% on a $6 latte. Am I cheap for pressing no tip?

The question

An illustrative letter.

The answer

My dear, you are far from the only person who walks away from a coffee counter feeling like the villain of the morning. That tablet swings around, the suggested amounts glow, the line waits behind you, and suddenly a $6 drink has become a test of character. It is not. It is a small spending decision, and you are allowed to make it calmly.

Is it rude to choose no gratuity at a coffee counter?

No. Customs around tipping have shifted quickly, and almost everyone feels the confusion. In a 2023 Pew Research Center survey, 72 percent of American adults said tipping is expected in more places than it was five years earlier, and only about a third said it is easy to know whether to leave one. Among people who buy coffee at a coffee shop, just a quarter said they always or often add a gratuity there.

So when you press the button for none, you are doing what most coffee buyers do. You are not breaking a rule. The screen simply makes a private choice feel public.

Why does the screen ask for so much?

Because payment systems make it easy to ask, and the preset amounts are chosen by the business, not by etiquette. A screen that opens at 20, 25 and 30 percent nudges people upward. That does not mean those numbers are what is expected. They are what the screen was set up to suggest.

Where does the money actually go?

Federal law says employers may not keep their workers' gratuities, so what you leave goes to the staff, not the owner. And in Michigan, employers may pay workers who receive gratuities a lower base wage, $5.49 an hour in 2026, as long as wages and gratuities together reach the full minimum of $13.73. Some baristas are paid that way and many are not, but it explains why the people behind the counter care about that button.

What does tipping cost me over a year?

Small amounts repeat. If you buy a $6 latte five days a week, adding 20 percent comes to $1.20 a cup, or about $310 a year. That is not a reason to stop being generous. It is a reason to choose your generosity on purpose, as part of your budget, rather than in a three-second panic at the register. Our Budget Planner can show where a coffee habit fits alongside everything else.

How do I set my own rule?

Decide ahead of time, once, and then stop debating it at every counter. Many people use something like this:

• Table service: a percentage of the bill, because a server's pay usually depends on it.
• A handmade drink at a counter: a modest flat amount when you want to, or none.
• A bottled drink, a pastry from a case, or a self-serve order: usually nothing.
• Exceptional care: something extra, whenever someone truly goes out of their way.

Your rule can be different from mine. What matters is that it is yours, set when you are calm, so the glowing screen loses its power.

What about all the other places that ask now?

The same screens now appear at takeout counters, self-service kiosks, bakeries and even some shops. Your rule can cover them too. One simple question helps: did a person do something for me beyond handing over what I paid for? If so, and you can afford it, a little thanks in money is kind. If not, a sincere thank you is enough.

What if money is tight this month?

Then it is tight, and that is all right. Generosity matters, but it belongs with money you can spare, not money meant for rent, groceries or the card balance. No one behind a counter wants you to go short on the essentials. When things ease, you can be more generous again.

How do I press the button without feeling awful?

Look up, smile and say thank you. Warmth costs nothing, and it is what the person behind the counter will remember. If you are a regular, you might leave a little now and then rather than every time. And remember that guilt is a poor guide to spending. It tends to push money out of our pockets for reasons we would not choose on a clearer day.

Is there another side to this?

There is, and it is worth hearing. Junah also answered a letter from a café owner in the same town, whose customers dislike these screens while his baristas rely on them. You will find it among her other letters. Seeing both sides can make that moment at the counter feel a little less personal.

You are not cheap, my dear. You are thoughtful, which is why the screen bothers you at all. Set your rule this week, and let your kindness be something you choose rather than something a tablet takes.

One thing to do this week

Write down your own rule for counter service, table service and exceptional care, and use it at your next coffee stop.